Starting to feel Gilly move. V v exciting!
Heartbeat November 6, 2007
In the morning, I go in for yet another midwife appointment. The previous highlight of my prenatal appointments was getting to hear Gillys heartbeat, but as a friend lent me her home doppler, I really dont care much at all about about getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to hear something I can hear whenever I damn well please. And I certainly dont have to worry about not shaving when I do it myself.
E. coli November 5, 2007
Maybe I shouldve joined some post every other day plan.
The other day, I told my husband that he could make Hamburger Helper for himself using the ground beef in the meat drawer. Silly me, I forgot that, along with the new beef, there was a package of old beef. It looks like I may have accidentaly given my dear husband E. coli poisoning by inadvertently instructing him to eat a package of month-old ground beef. Whoops.
All Souls Day November 3, 2007
Eh, so I missed the second day. Sue me.
The reason I missed is b/c last night, my mother and I went to the All Souls Day Mass at her church and I did not get home until almost midnight. Apparently, All Souls Day is where you pray for the people in pergutory?????? Wtf, mate, I am Presbyterian, not Catholic, so it felt totally heretical of me to be there. The Mass is once a year and it specifically honors the people who died in the past year. It was very long, clocking in at two hours. My mom lit a candle and then got to take it home. She is supposed to light it at the holidays to remind everyone that even though my father is not with us physically, he is with us spiritually. Truthfully, I am not much looking forward to the holidays this year. My family is extremely tiny. I am an only child and my mother has only one brother, and her father is also deceased. That will make for three, count em, THREE of us at the Thanksgiving table (Mom, me, and Styles), and eight of us for Christmas. My cousins are ages 21 and 18, so there arent even any kids to get all excited about(until next year, of course!!). The big problem is that my grandmother lives six hours away from us and I get one, count em, ONE day off from work for Christmas (generous of them, no?). So, after my work on xmas eve, we get in the car and drive six hours to basically spend one day with my family. Balls. I will probably be able to get the day after off, which I did last year, and we came home early so we could see Styles family that day. It worked out pretty well. Next year will be worse b/c we will be splitting the holiday due to it being Gillys first. Styles family celebrated on xmas eve, so after that, well drive 3 – 4 hours, stay at a motel, and drive the rest on xmas morning to my Grandmothers. Now, the benefit then is that I will not be working, so we wont have to worry about getting back for my job, so we could spend an extra day afterwards. It really irritates me to live so far from the family b/c Styles and I also like to celebrate w/ his family. This year wouldve been our year to stay here, but of course we cant do that now. This whole dead father thing really hands you a lot of inconveniences in a great variety of ways.
National Blog Posting Month November 1, 2007
How lucky for you: I joined National Blog Posting Month, also known as NaBloPoMo. This means that for the next month, you can find a delicious new post from me, wait, get this, every single day. No, seriously. Last year, I tried my hand at NaNoWriMo and failed miserably, so I figured this is my only shot at writing greatness.
First things first: no foster kids yet, but we did buy our stroller in anticipation. It is the Phil & Teds Sport with the doubler seat and it is freakin awesome. We got the black one. Im so in love with it. A double stroller that takes up only the same room as a single? How can you not love it? Second things second: Styles has been switched at work to the evening shift, which runs from 3 pm – 11 pm. This stinks b/c now I only see him when I wake up and on the weekends. Fortunately, it will only stink for me until Gilly is born, as I am quitting work, so I will see Styles during the day. I do feel bad for him, though, as this ruins his evenings indefinitely now. Well, that is all for todays post, see ya tomorrow!
And baby makes.. October 27, 2007
We finally received our foster parent certification in the mail last Saturday! According to my overly-nerdy computer ticker, it only took 6 months and 3 weeks from our first class to certification. Not so bad, really! Now we are just awaiting our first phone call. The thing is, we are not necessarily as hot to get a call as we first were because I am now 14 weeks pregnant. I decided that waiting a whole nother year was just out of the question, and thankfully, Styles was willing to agree, so Im getting my spring baby! Expected due date: April 27, 2008. So far, we are calling him Baby Gilly, and we are not finding out the sex until he is born. And Im not calling him “it,” he is “he.” Our foster care agency decided they do not want us to have 2 kids in diapers, so instead of getting a child aged birth – 3, we are signed up for ages 2 -4. We also reduced our number from 2 to 1. I said I could handle instant 2 kids, but not instant 3 and our caseworker agreed. I dont really understand about the diapers part. The couple that spoke at our panel class had 3 foster kids, one 1-yr-old, & 2 infants, which makes for THREE in diapers, so I dont see why they are being like that with us. Im just irritated b/c I really wanted a foster baby and not a foster toddler, but Ill be getting the baby either way, so at this point, I guess I dont really care.
Ive been spending my time since my last post mourning the passing of my father, having an okay summer, and suffering through a nasty first trimester. Im really very sad that my dad is not going to be around to meet and get to know this baby. This would be his first grandchild (Im an only child). I feel really bad for my mom most of the time b/c I know that she did not ever anticipate going through this alone. I know she can talk to her friends about Gilly and all of that, but there is nothing like having your spouse to chat with, especially since they are going through the same thing as you. It’s also hard b/c she is so young to have that house all to herself now, and face the possiblity of being alone for the rest of her life. She has been cleaning out my fathers things and saying what a packrat he was, and she never knew it. He apparently collected a lot of junk. Sometimes I wonder if she will end up dating and stuff. That would be really super weird, but I already told her it wouldnt bother me. Just weird to think of your parent dating. Would she even remember how to do it? It’s amazing how much life can change in just two years. Two years ago, my dad was alive and healthy. Two years ago, Styles and I were barely married. Now my father is dead and Im pregnant. Hmm.
Misadventure March 18, 2007
Last night, Styles and I were supposed to stay at a bed and breakfast. A year ago, I had won a free nights stay at a bed and breakfast from a charity raffle. We finally decided to use it this week. Styles had called the place, which is located on a college campus, and had made us reservations. The lady said it was spring break week, but they were open for business. She called back twice and e-mailed once to confirm. Yes, Styles said each time, we will be coming. Expect us around three-o-clock.
The place is about an hour from us, so we left at 2pm. My car has been in and out of the shop with fuel problems, which apparently still have not yet been fixed as gas gushed out at me when I tried to fill it. We came back home and switched cars. Styles called the lady to let her know that ran into car trouble and that we would arrive 3.30-3.45pm. No problem, right? Well, first off, no one answers the phone at this place. The phone number is for the alumni association and goes directly to voice mail. When Styles had called to reserve, he had left a message and the lady called back. So, when he called to let her know we would be late, he had to leave a message. Not good, but, oh well, what else to do?
We get to the place at 3.50pm and there was no one there. No one. Totally deserted. Door locked, lights out deserted. No one in the alumni building, either. Cant call from campus b/c we cant get phone reception. Drive back into local town where we get reception. Call to leave angry message b/c no one picks up the phone. Go eat lunch, drive home. Arrive back in town at 6.30pm. Wonderful, left at 2, get back at 6.30 all for nothing. Entire Saturday wasted b/c of some fucking idiot who probably forgot to tell anyone that we were coming. Even if she was waiting for us and did not get our message about being late, did she call us to see where we were? Did she even leave a note on the door with a number to call so someone could come let us in? NO. She had even told us to call an hour before arrival!! Absolute, total disappointment and a waste of a precious weekend day. This was supposed to be our relaxing romantic getaway, ruined. Thank goodness we were *only* coming from one hour away! We were angry enough as it was, thank goodness we had not traveled several hours. I cant wait to see what they have to say when they call Styles back.
Two-and-a-half months March 17, 2007
I asked Styles when I could start buying baby stuff and he said to wait at least until we get to the homestudy part. How unexciting 
I dont like that foster care comes with so many negatives. Like the fact that I really really want a baby in the house, but I dont want any children to have to be taken from their parents. I dont want to be pregnant right now, I want a baby, and I know this is, in part, fueling my desire to foster, which seems very selfish of me, especially since we are currently not looking to adopt. It’s an uncomfortable mix of happily expecting and wanting a child, and sadness and anger over how children will arrive. It is very hard for me to not get excited over the possibility of being lisenced in 2 & a half months, but if I get too excited, that is wrong b/c the kids wont be mine, the parents are possibly screwed up, and I certainly wont get to keep them, so why get so invested? Im not over-analyzing this privately, Im just putting it out there b/c I dont want anyone to think that my excitement is dilusional. So, sorry if I seem a bit “too” excited for your tastes, but I dont want you to think that I am blind to reality.
Invitation only March 14, 2007
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Styles:
We are pleased to invite you to begin foster parent training. On Thursday evening, March 29, 2007 at 6:30 pm we will begin a series of ten orientation sessions for families who have applied to become foster and/or adoptive parents. These sessions will continue on each subsequent Thursday evening through May 31, 2007.”
WOO-HOO!!! I have been a tad nervous, perhaps b/c I want this so badly, that we would not receive an invite. I know that is stupid, they probably invite everyone who applies, but still. We also got our house appraisal and mortgage agreements in the mail to-day, so it was a very productive day 
